An Introverted Goodbye/Keeping in touch

Good Day Introverts, Reserved Ones, All of those who want to learn more about us, and All visitors,

Recently, I have had to say goodbye to a lot of people and activities that I have gotten used to and comfortable with. I have said good bye to the members of the dance team, the national honor society, my Taekwondo school, people that I had several classes with and soon, by the end of the summer, people from my church, including the kids that I have been blessed to work with for several years. I’ve just graduated high school and things are about to be very different. I’m soon to be in the process of developing a new normal. Sometimes for us it is hard to adapt to a “new normal” but that’s not what I’m talking about just yet. Before we enter into a new normal, I want to talk about staying in touch. As I sat down and read my year book after graduation practice, I saw a couple of signatures with people saying we should keep in touch and toward the last couple of weeks of school (the most nerve racking if you ask me), mostly all of the seniors and everyone with some type of connection with a senior were talking about keeping in touch and the effects of going separate ways. The list of people to keep in touch with including peers and older adults became quite extensive. For some of us, skills like keeping in touch are very difficult and can be confusing. This situation has come up before, but now its more serious than ever. Although this is difficult, I believe we can do this. J The first step, that will make this process less complicated and more conquerable is to make a list of everyone who you need to keep in touch with. Making a list will help you to stay organized and help not to forget about anyone. Also, looking at the list a few times will help you to think about each person, your relationship with them and what you will talk about when you call. Another step is to develop a schedule of the times when you will call each person. This can be done using a wall calendar, a phone calendar or any type of calendar that you own. This can strengthen the relationship and let the person you are communicating with know that you are truly interested in them and that you truly care. This is what I will be doing through out college so that I can keep in touch with those that I need to and at the same time strengthen our relationship. We can do it!

Unashamed Introvertish Girl

Don’t Be Afraid to Take a Punch

Good Day Introverts, Reserved Ones, and all of those who want to learn more about people of this nature,

Recently, I had my last martial arts class before I go off to college. I’m not stopping martial arts, I’m just not going to be attending classes regularly like I usually do. My martial arts organization has many locations and one of them is inside a multi-activity center with lots of other types of activities, especially dance. As a result of the fact that this extracurricular activities center has so many different classes with so many different students of all different age groups, every year a showcase is held to show off what each student has learned to their family and friends. As I waited back stage for the Taekwondo class to be called to go on stage, I recalled something that my Taekwondo instructor told me all the time during sparring. I was a great blocker, I blocked not all, but many punches and kicks. That was okay, but what he used to always say to me and other members of the class was, “Don’t be afraid to take a punch.” I thought about that for a while during my time backstage. When I first stared sparring, I was always blocking but I rarely moved my arms from the blocking position to throw a punch. This simple statement about sparring made me reflect on my own life. I’m very shy sometimes and I’m very introverted sometimes, but mostly shy. Many times my shyness crippled me and stopped me from doing certain things such as joining conversations or going to social gatherings. In middle school, almost everyone had some type of party to celebrate what seemed then as such a great age, the big one three. There were always fancy little invites being passed around or text messages(pretty new aged for back then.) When I got invites, I was often too scared to attend these events. I would turn the invitation over so I wouldn't have to keep thinking about it and how I was not going. When I got to high school I thought to myself, “Why was I so scared to go to a little party or join a little conversation?” Its funny now, but during the time when you’re facing these types of things they can be painful. So I thought about the piece of advice that my Taekwondo instructor gave me, “Don’t be afraid to take a punch.” In life many times we are so afraid of “taking a punch” and getting hurt or knocked down by people, situations or circumstances that we miss out on things that had we just taken a little risk, would have been very beneficial to us and actually very easy once we took the first step. For those of you who are very shy like I was, and sometimes still are, don’t be afraid to take a risk every one in a while and step out on faith. Not in me but in God. Just try it, it’s a lot easier than you thought once you just do it.

　

Unashamed Introvertish Girl

Dress to Relieve Stress

Good Day Introverts, Reserved Ones, and Everyone who wants to learn more about us!

Today I want to talk about the power of taking more time out to pay attention to your style. Don’t get me wrong; I’m not about to give you fashion tips, but I will explain to you the importance of putting just a little more time in your style choices. Its really easy actually. You don’t have to spend a lot of money to do this either. When you pick out the clothes that you really feel good in, it is an attitude booster. There’s lots of nice clothes out there, but when you find the apparel that is right for you, you’ll notice there’s an instant boost of happiness and confidence. I’m not saying go out and become bankrupt in order to become happy. There are always thrift stores and other stores that sell clothes at a reasonable price. Outfits do not have to cost a large sum of money to look good on you. To me, buying clothes is a process of finding what complements you, makes you smile at yourself, and look at yourself with high esteem. I am not condoning conceit in anyway; however, I am promoting confidence and awareness of self identity. I don’t think you should find self-identity in the clothes you wear at all; that just leads to a life of confusion. Instead I’m saying, make this what seems to many of us a menial part of life into something very useful. Finding clothes that are absolutely for you can bring out your personality and help you with self expression. Many of us reserved one and/or introverts do not often express ourselves to the majority, an I’m not saying do this to prove a point or anything, I’m just saying use it as an outlet. When I went prom dress shopping before my senior prom, my mom and I had just walked into a store full of beautiful dresses. There were long dresses, quinceañ era dresses, rhinestone decorated dress, fluffy dresses, baby baptism dresses, sleek dresses, wedding dresses, you name it. They all looked so pretty, but then my eyes stumbled upon this awkward looking red dress. It was sort of hanging off of the hanger. It felt like the dress called my name, so I told my mom I wanted to try it on ant it was beautiful. It was a knee length red dress with wavy ruffles at the bottom and a fitted halter top. It had roses on the front and roses on the back. I felt it was just right for me and my personality, and I felt good in it. When shopping with this frame of mind you do not have to be preparing for a formal event, it can be anything, a baseball game, a movie date or whatever. Do what makes you feel confident and what makes you feel you. Be who God created you to be in every area of your life. The next time I go shopping, I’ll keep this in mind!

Summer Parties

So its summer time. Lots of thing are going on every day and especially during weekend. You may have even been invited to a few yourself. If you haven’t then you’re not alone. I don’t get that many invites either. But when I do, I try not to get too nervous about it if I plan on going, because guess what, introverts can still have fun at parties. If your absolutely freaking out then don’t go; it takes time to get comfortable with these types of things. However, if you are ready to start attending these festive social gatherings, I have a few tips on how to enjoy yourself.


Tip 1: Go with someone you know well, who you trust and understands your personality.
When I was in middle school, we had an eighth grade prom (I will tell you about my high school prom in another post. It was fun, but I’ll tell you the rest later.). It was one of the most fun nights of my life back then. I was with about six or seven of my closest friends. We all loved reading, studying and pretty much all of us placed in the school science fair that year. The point is, we were alike, we had similar interests and we understood each other. Not all of us were introverts but the fact that we all liked the same things dispelled shyness and provoked stimulating conversation. The eighth grade prom started around seven o’ clock and ended around ten o’ clock. It was on a boat which traveled a few miles on a local river and then turned around. It was a very memorable night. Every time I think about this event a clip plays over and over in my head of my old best friend on my left and my principle on the right teaching me the Cupid Shuffle ( a line dance). LoL!


Tip 2: (If you’re going to a party where you don’t really know anyone.) Locate a generous looking person or group of people that you will feel comfortable hanging out with for the duration of the celebration.
Although it is often times difficult to determine who you should go up to and hang out with at a party, this suggestion is worthwhile. It can make a world of a difference as it relates to your overall party experience. All you have to do is briefly scan the room and look for someone who you feel you may like to mingle with. Use good judgment when going about this process because depending on the type of party and the crowd of people at the party this could be dangerous. Just so you know, I’m not one to attend the wild and crazy parties, so the type of parties that I attend, when I do go, and when I am invited are pretty controlled and mellow. Keep in mind that it is best to do this with two or more people for safety reasons. Nothing to be alarmed about, just something to keep in mind. This method, is however very effective when used. In tenth grade, when I went out on a whim and decided to go to the homecoming dance, I sat all alone for a while. A few people that I knew came up an said “Hi,” and asked me if I was okay and everything then went on their way. Later, a girl from my Algebra 1 class in ninth grade and her friend came up and started talking. I was grateful that someone finally took interest. Not that I was sitting around waiting for someone, but you know what I mean. Anyway, the girl let me walk around and mingle and everything with her and her friend. In this instance, it was sort of the other way around but it still shows how there are very considerate people out there, and all we need is to give ourselves a little push sometimes. I will always remember this kind gesture.


Tip 3 : Use the old “Hi” and “Bye” routine.
Sometimes when I’m at a large gathering, and I get tired of sitting down the entire time, I’ll make my way across the room and in the process of doing so I greet those whom I may know. It doesn’t have to be long and drawn out it can just be a simple “hello.” That way you can interact with others at the party and nine times out of ten, the more talkative party goers will say more that “Hi” back to you. Your simple greeting could strike up an entire conversation started by the person that you greeted. If it doesn’t, that’s okay too. This is also good if you add a “How are you,” to the greeting because it shows that you have an actual interest in the person with which you are speaking.


Tip 4 : Say a prayer before you go.
Saying a prayer before you can do wonders. It can calm your nerves and grant you assurance that no matter what happens at this social gathering you will remain confident an love your self! This one is my favorite, btw.


　
These are just a few tips that have worked for me during parties and small social gatherings. Do what’s best for you and what makes you comfortable. I hope you benefit from these suggestions!

　




　

Good Day Introverts, Reserved Ones and All!

I hope all is way and that your finding joy in everything that you can! Its been a while since I have posted but I writing to tell you that I have not quit! More new, interesting, mind-expanding and helpful posts are coming your way this summer. In the next two weeks more post and more specific posts are coming your way! Stay tuned! In the mean time enjoy The Power of Introverts a Ted Talk by Susan Cain!



Unashamed Introvertish Girl

Laughing when it hurts

Good Day Introverts, Shy individuals, and all :)

Today I want to talk about something that’s not specifically an introvert issue but introverts, shy ones and everyone can benefit! Lately, things have been getting more and more real. That’s a slang phrase meaning that a situation or circumstance has become more serious and/or intense. I just graduated from high school on Monday and I am officially, officially in the real world, and its true what they say, its cold; however, joy has been warmth so far. I have learned that yes life is tough especially if you have difficulty expressing yourself thoroughly or socializing. The world, most of it, most of the time, sadly doesn’t care. There are a select few individuals that may go out of their way to make you comfortable, but that is rare. At this time in life, people my age are on elevators that move really fast. You're either going up really fast, going down, or busy trying to catch an elevator. People are getting good jobs, the best scholarships, the nicest cars, entering into great relationships or busy trying to do these things. Thank God I have not really seen anyone on an elevator going down, but if you're not setting goals for your self this is probably happening. Those with no goals are on an elevator going down, but its moving so fast that they probably don't even realize it. This is a time where you must be patient, not idle, but patient, patient and active at the same time. Introverts and reserved ones this applies to our situation also. Don’t spend time pouting, getting jealous, or crying; instead, keep moving. Imp learning that you cant go through life without laughing at certain things. If you really think about it, once in a while, you'll find that life is really funny. It sound crazy, to laugh while you waiting in a job, or a car or a best friend, but it works. Imp learning that God didn't create us to be stressed out all of them time or constantly desire what someone else has. He has provided relief in the midst of intense situations. I did this today! I laughed when it wasn't even that funny; but it helped me. I was in one of my extra curricular activities and we had just finished executing a physical combination of moves. I got each move down pack on the first try. I moved quickly, swiftly and neatly. I even got these techniques down pack before those who were on a higher level than I got the moves down pack. When we finished I was proud of myself. I even smiled a little. After this the instructor of the class complemented one of the other higher member on one of the techniques they did during this combination. I had to laugh at myself and my situation. It pretty funny to me. I give glory to God for everything that I can do, even physical actives. I laughed about it when it was all said and done. It gave me extreme energy; it was like fuel to keep going. It also helped me to be more happy for my class peers. It made me want to try harder. So find something funny in your life and laugh about it. I’m sure, of you don’t think too hard, you can find at least one thing.

　

With Laughter,

Unashamed Introvertish Girl

Preaching to the Choir

When I was about seven or eight years old, I sang in the church choir. Around this time, I was on the extremely quiet side and shy, but still brave. At this time, for some reason there were only two other people at choir practice they were both much older than me by three to six years. For the entire time choir instructor taught one song. The two older kids stood a little in front of me and sang amazingly. I don’t remember what they sounded like but I do remember their facial expressions and the way they rose their head to project sound. That in itself said a lot. I on the other hand felt I was working hard until the much older girl stood behind me and pointed her finger downward toward me rapidly and half mouthed and half whispered to the choir director,” she not singing." I felt bad. I guess it was a little frightening being around such older kids mad being on the reserved side. Nothing was coming out when I opened my mouth. The small amount of people intimidated me. At the end of rehearsal, the choir director said, in a serious and somewhat frustrated tone, if you don’t want to sing, tell your parents not to bring you next time. I never went back until one summer when the church had a youth explosion and basically all children in the church had to participate. This was one of the first moments I realized that was different from others. I had been an avid singer in the choir for about two years before this, but this was different. The kids were older and there where a lot less people. I know the director did not mean to offend me or make me upset, but I never went back to being a regular choir singer. I did not stop serving God. Instead I joined the dance ministry at church. I danced from the middle of third grade until the middle of eight grade. I was a little stiff at first and faced many challenges during this time but I tried my hardest. Around the end of seventh grade I started working in the church nursery and I was very good at it. It didn't require excellent social skills or lengthy conversations with peers. I felt comfortable consulting with adults by asking question about how to handle certain situations with the kids and observing how the experienced nursery workers handled the children. It was easy to interact with the children by complementing their art work or encouraging them to share instead of argue over toys. Today, I still work in the nursery and still enjoy each Sunday that I volunteer. From this I learned that everyone is good at something. Its just a matter of having the patience and perseverance to discover your niche and listen to what God is telling you to do. You don’t have to have dynamite social skills or be an avid talker to find hobbies, extracurricular activities and careers that you love and excel in. God has given each of us unique talents and gifts whether you’re reserved, shy, or an introvert. Don’t stop participating in life. Get out and do what you’re meant to do!

　

In Sincerity

Unashamed Introvertish Girl

　

　

　

A commute to chipotle and a walk to Wendy’s.

Good Day Introverts, reserved ones and all :)

Have you ever had to sit, walk, or go through and process, serious and/or non serious alone, I have. With many strange looks and nasty-ignorant comments accompanying me. Not to put to much focus on myself, but the thing that trips people up with me, is that I'm a bold introvert. I stand alone a lot of times but I walk with my head up, I’m on the dance team (I'll tell you more about that later), and when people stare, I look back. But anyway, its okay to go through some things alone, be mindful that God is right there with you so you're not really alone, but more like the earthly version of alone. I know that God is with me and that he has a plan for me. That keeps me going. The same goes for all of us. Also, although its very difficult when you first start doing so, forgiving those who make these comments and trying to understand why they are the way they are helps to eliminate bitterness. Today I am at graduation practice. They gave us two hours to go out for lunch on both days. Today is day two. This wasn't just any old lunch break. They let us go off of campus for lunch. On day one I started out of a fast food restaurant right by my school. The place was right around the corner but I know my mom wouldn't want me to walk alone, and I figured it was best to walk with a group for safety reasons. A girl from my classes that has a jeep asked me where I was going. I told her but she and her friends wanted to go somewhere else so I said okay. It was a really nice gesture from a trusted and responsible peer. I thanked her at least three times. When we got there, she dropped us off at the front of the restaurant. When she came back into the restaurant after parking she had a concerned look on her face. She said something about her car to her main girls in front of her. It sounded like she said someone was smoking by her car. How terrible, I thought, but didn’t think too much of it. Later, I heard correctly and realized that she said her car was smoking! I sort of panic internally and stopped eating politely. She got some guys from the auto mechanic program at our school to look at it and they said it was nothing too serious. We weren’t stranded. This day, I was reminded that there are still people out their who care about you and have interest in your [our] wellbeing despite our major differences from the world. I don't know what level of introversion or shyness you are on but for whatever level you are on I just wanted to say don’t give up on yourself or the possibility of one day having great, times with close/best friends. Many of you may already have these types pf relationships but not everyone does. Remember that God is always with you and has not given us a spirit of fear but of power, of love and of a sound mind. Don't stop taking wise chances in life! Don’t stop believing!

　

　

With understanding,

Unashamed Introvertish Girl.