Twenty Somethings and Friendship (21 The Blog Series)
Something weird happens to
almost everyone during their last teenaged year. It may be just a coincidence, but it seems
like around 19-years-old, people just aren’t having it anymore. By it, I mean faulty friendships.
I remember back when I
was in my last teenage year, it seemed like everyone was always mad at someone
else, and due to still being a student in the university of life, expressed
this via social media. It was indeed the
year of the subtweet and the year of the indirect status.
I now realize why
everyone was so mad and shady back then (sorry past us), and have thought about
it a lot since. It’s because after a
certain age, we begin to move in a million different directions, and I don’t
just mean geographically. The phrase, “your
life is just starting,” really comes into play.
Life hits. Most of us realize that while the first part
of our lives had challenges here and there, for the most part it, was cookie
cutter, with a clear cut way of doing things.
As children we are pretty much given an outline to follow when it comes
to life. We know everything that’s going
to be on the test in life elementary school and life high school, but when we
get to life college, the study guides disappear.
Even though many of us,
like myself, were raised with a realistic view of the world and told that
challenges will come, I think at some point we are all unprepared for the tests
at Life University.
Just because you make the
Dean’s list, doesn’t mean you’ll get a job right away. Just because you bundle up during the winter,
doesn’t mean you won’t catch a cold. Just
because you iron your blazer before you leave, doesn’t mean it won’t be
wrinkled by the time you make your presentation.
So what is life? (See
answer here)
That’s what we’re all
trying to figure out, and many of us take different routes to do so. We’re so busy trying to accomplish goals with
this newfound realization that things aren’t as attainable, and sometimes just
trying to keep our heads above water that maintaining many of the friendships
that we have had becomes difficult.
The journey to self-discovery
and success in every area of life breaks many friendships, or, it shows us that
they were never what we thought they were in the first place.
Looking at it from this
perspective, can we really be mad?
The older we get, the
more people begin to realize that it is better to have a few good friends than
many that are there, but not really there.
Being a friend, a true friend, is a serious commitment, especially under
the conditions of life.
So while I set in my
heart to love everyone with the same Agape (unconditional) love that Christ
loves me with, I realize that everyone just cannot make that commitment to
everyone.
We can be all that we can
in love and service, but it’s important to understand that everyone just won’t always
fit that friend mold, and that’s okay. Everybody won’t be extremely close to
you and that’s okay.
Now, as a child of God, I
choose not to look at it from a shady, paranoid, suspicious and untrustworthy
way. Let’s get deeper into our major
here at Life University, shall we? As a
Christian, I choose to see things for what they really are, treat situations
like Jesus would, and it works.
I love you, but I’m not going
to hurt myself or you by creating false expectations of our friendship. Expectations should be known and
communicated, and if both parties know what they are and one party refuses or does
not see the value in doing so, then it is what it is.
We should not hold any
ill-will or unforgiveness in our hearts toward one another. As Christians, that’s one of the things that separates
us from the world.
The love is still there,
even if the depth of friendship is not.
13By this all will know that you are My
disciples, if you have love for one another.
~John 13:35 (NKJV)
46 If you love only those who love you,
what reward is there for that? Even corrupt tax collectors do that much. 47 If
you are kind only to your friends,[a] how are you different from anyone
else? Even pagans do that.
~Matthew
5:46-47 (NLT)
